When Love Goes Wrong

So I feel I need to conference call all my friends who ever dated
younger boys and ask what they did. How did they control them? What did
you say? How did you explain it to them? I mean, I thought I had
Michael pretty well trained at this point. We had gone over most of the
basics. Here are a few:

1. Acknowledge that besides the gold medals, and maybe your mother, I'm the best thing that ever happened to you.
5. Don't touch any other females.
12. Realize that without me you'd be nothing.
15. Don't let the fame go to your head.
27. Don't look at any other females.
And then this! What's really sad, is he called me from the party and I told
him, "Don't drive." I told him that. I guess he didn't understand that
whole other rule:

6. I'm always right. If you don't listen to me, everything goes to shit!

Alright, as my grip on unreality slips, I'll just look at this picture
of my boyfriend. It makes me okay with everything again. Makes me want
to forgive him one day.